Thursday, June 20, 2013

It's Almost Over



Tomorrow at 9 am I have my final exam that covers the entire year. I have no idea why this is really necessary but it is and so I have been studying for a week and plan on doing very well. Rumor has it that it doesn't even really count too much. But whatever - I still want to go out with a bang. It shows character, something extremely lacking in today's society and something I have learned, although sadly, during the last 10 months. Even my character is not what I thought it was. I've come home many days very ashamed of myself for the unkind thoughts and lop-sided ideas that have crept into my mind during times of stress and frustration.
It has been a very human experience. I have the seen the best and the not so great in myself, my instructors and my classmates. And yet I still like them and appreciate them and I wish them only the best in their lives. 
I am so grateful to be where I am in my life. I have no desire to go back, only to go forward with what I have and what I know to try and be a better person and make a difference somehow.

The Good:
I have become a more awesome cook and have the skills to teach others and serve if needed
I have made some good friends
I can still learn
I can keep up with and even pass kids half my age ( until I can get home and take painkillers!)
My opinion is valued
I can do hard things
I can contribute
I have the most wonderful, supportive family and friends anyone could ever ask for
I  can get to class on time every day for 10 months, except one or two
I trained in the best kitchen in Alaska
I served canapes to Senator Lisa Murkowski
I served the annual AVTEC Scholarship dinner to some of Alaska's rich and famous
I served at the historical grand opening of the new Seward Museum and Library
I got the highest grade on my Purchasing final
I have math skills
I have earned the highest certification available
I can line cook
I can serve
I can wash dishes as good as any ex-con, minus the tattoos
I have a resume
I can render First Aid
I have been trained in Alcohol awareness
I know how to poison people with food, although I am supposed to prevent that
I have been challenged to the limit and survived, although sometimes barely
Choices are more important than talent - sorry, I stole this from Pinterest but it's true
People are more important than programs - where have we heard that?
Everyone is human (read: makes mistakes and needs forgiveness)
My instructors are basically very kind and very nice and very talented people with a limited amount of time
I am so grateful for the experience
I had fun!

The not so good:
I over think
I need to be more patient
I need to be less judgmental
I need to listen more carefully
I worry too much
The students who were not as successful as they could have been were lazy, had emotional issues, made bad choices, had bad attitudes and didn't take advantage of their opportunities even though they had a lot of potential and a lot of people trying to help them.

But mostly, I learned to love food more than ever. I love to grow it, study it, buy it, cook it, eat it, serve it, and learn about the people and cultures who do the same. Food is life and food is love.